A ridiculous online purchase – my “f*ck it!” dress

Last week, after the lab came and drew some more blood from me at 3am from my hospital bed, I found it difficult to fall back asleep (duh!), and turned to my phone for distraction. And, while browsing Facebook I came across a Sissyboy ad for a dress that I thought was just stunning.

Now, a bit of context here. At this stage, I am on a max dosage of highly potent cortisone, and my body has exploded in bloat. In fact, this specific cortisone is the cortisone responsible for the #moonface terminology, from which I was (am) definitely suffering (To quote: “One of the more visible effects of long term use of high dosages of prednisone is swelling in the cheeks and in the neck. This might also be called prednisone “moon face” by some. Prednisone often causes weight gain and redistribution of fat deposits in some people.”)

I am either square or round. Take your pick. My beloved calls me “Chipmunk”. I had to buy new pants urgently because I just did not fit into any of the ones I owned. You get the picture. I am a balloon.

But here is this dress. And I love it. And it’s 3 f’ing o’clock in the morning and I have just had another lab test and I am feeling sorry for myself, and am clearly not rational. And I want to wear that dress. At some stage. So I buy it.

A couple of days later I get an email that it is not returnable! First of all…sorry Sissyboy, but it IS. You don’t get to re-write the whole CPA for your convenience. But, although when I woke up post purchase I had every intention of shipping the dress back, I decided that..f’ck it. I’m keeping it. And wearing it. Some day.

This is my “Let’s do this, dress” dress.

xx,

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(May 2020 update: I have still not worn that dress. And I don’t even know if I’d fit into it. In fact, I don’t even think I have taken it out of its packaging. And I can’t exactly say that “this year is the year”. I mean, where am I going to wear it? Out to take the trash? So maybe 2021. Will need a hot date.)