At the beginning of the year I promised myself I would “live 2026 with intention”. Now, as we approach the near-mid-year mark, I realise that “intention” is a ridiculous term. Living with intention is literally the opposite of what I want to be doing. “Living with intention” implies I will live my days intending to do something, while presumably not doing it at all. (To this end, I must say, I have managed to hold up my end of the bargain rather well.)

I intended to: write regularly, take daily photos, get active on social media, read a fiction book a week, meet new people every day. I’ve been adding to the list of intention with much confidence: get 1,000 rejections, get fit, lose weight, renovate at least part of my house, meet 100 new people, on and on. I’ve done almost none of these things, although I intend to do them daily.

I used to be a do-er. I set out to do something, and then I did it. No fail. Now, this diddly-dallying is exhausting. It’s also overwhelming and discouraging. Literally everyday I am reminded a dozen times of all the things I *want* to be doing, but am choosing not to do. And that’s the sting: my inaction is a choice. It’s not lack of money, or lack of time, or lack of other tangible resources. It’s a simple lack of commitment, a lack of follow-through. (But not, to be clear, a lack of intention).

So, what to do about this? Wipe the slate clean, write a new set of intentions, and hold myself accountable? Take some time to figure out why I am not following through (is it fear? maybe it’s just a lack of genuine interest? maybe I am trying to mimick the lives of other random people?).

It gets worse (sort of): all this failure-to-do and the guilt which it brings masks the fact that actually, hold on a second!, I absolutely do do things. Just maybe not the things I originally intended to do, or not to the scale I envisioned. Example: No, I have not read a book a week. But I have read 15+books this year. Or: No, I have not built a social media presence, but I have taped a pilot podcast and am scheduling to tape many more this year (watch this space!). Or: No, I have not lost weight but I have been going to the gym and training for a multi-day hike I am walking in June.

So let me review the intentions that are still chasing me:

• Take a photo a day? Yes. I do want to do this. It’s like planting a seed. The real benefit is seen many years down the line, when Google surfaces photos that make me go ‘awwww!” and remind me of good times, a well lived life. I want a never-ending supply of that.
• Write in public daily? Yes! I am going to write much more than a sane person ever would. And although I am clearly struggling with this, I do believe it’s my secret to feeling calm and grounded. My mind feels dangerously chaotic, as I ponder a dozen ideas at a time and believe I should have things figured out more. Writing about just one thing a day, accepting that it won’t be a perfect reasoning but committing to it nevertheless, will free up mental space. It will also, of course, help me think deeper on topics, and learn from myself. Always a pleasure to experience this!
• Get 1,000 rejections? Yes. I wrote about this in my newsletter. Going out of my way to get rejected (in business and in social life) will offer a dual positive: I’ll grow a thick(er) skin, and I will increase my surface area of luck. Because you know that as 1,000 rejections are pursued, many of those will become unexpected accepted opportunities.
• Read a book a week? No. Just read, to no schedule. But focus on fiction.
• Meet 100 new people? Strong yes. I am making it 227 people, one for every day left of the year going forward. A “meet” needs to be intentional (oops), productive, appreciated by both sides and leave both parties with a feeling that we can get in touch with each other should an opportunity arise.
• Start speaking on stage? Yes and No. Yes, I will do a pecha kucha this year, no I am not doing or planning to do more than that.
• Finish writing my book? I don’t know. Probably no? Maybe yes? I am going to have to think about what finishing-the-book would look like.
• Renovate my house? Yes. This will be done in the tiniest, smallest, atomic chunks you can imagine. Like, clean-out-a-drawer at a time kind of stuff. But this compounds.

Haven’t discarded much, to be honest. But I have at least spent some time thinking about why I wanted to do some of these things in the first place. And I have realised that the word of the year needs to be much stronger than “intention”. So I am upgrading it to “deliberateness”. It will be easier to do things if there is a deliberate allocation of time and effort to specific tasks, supported by a strong reason for those tasks to be done. Maybe it will (finally) make all the difference?

Thanks for reading